Cellphones and common courtesy

It’s one of those societal changes that bewilders most of us, mainly because we can’t pinpoint quite when it started. How did we go from cellphone calls being something people tried to conduct in the least disruptive way possible to something they cheerfully impose on everyone around them? 

One day, you’re sighing because you’re in a confined area being subjected to one side of someone’s cellphone conversation. The next, that person is holding the phone horizontally in front of them, with their conversation partner on speakerphone or video chat, both people usually at full volume. 

It’s disheartening at best and infuriating at worst to be forced to listen to a conversation you’re not part of, especially when it’s one that could easily be conducted with more discretion and consideration for others. How have so many people never heard of headphones or earbuds? 

The rudeness knows no boundaries of geography, gender or age. On the morning GO Train, a mother FaceTimes with her kids as they get ready for school. At the Lindsay Farmers’ Market, a middle-aged man walks up and down the boulevard, barely noticing the dog he has on a leash as he carries on a rambling, all-too-public conversation with a pal. At Garnet Graham Park in Fenelon Falls, a group of teens does the horizontal-speakerphone thing to tell an absent friend what they’re missing. 

Looking back, it’s impossible to know exactly when such infringement on others became the norm. Maybe it has something to do with self-centredness, as in, “It’s my conversation and it doesn’t concern you, so it’s not an issue.” Or maybe, sadly, the person is fully aware they’re bothering others but simply doesn’t care. And of course, it’s almost impossible to get their attention to politely ask them to take their phone off speaker for the sake of others, especially given the reasonable fear of verbal or physical attacks if you mustered up the courage to do so in the first place. 

That said, at least we can control our own behaviour. If we get an important call, we can step outside or into a place where others don’t have to hear us. We can lower our voices. We can (gasp) let the call go to voicemail or (double gasp) answer and promise to call back when you’re in a more private spot. 

There is literally never a reason to take a video or phone call in public on a speakerphone. And there is literally never a reason to ignore those around you by holding your chat with both participants on full volume. It’s unfair to the person you’re talking to, it’s spectacularly inconsiderate to others, and every time you do it, you’re fraying the social fabric just a little more.