Grief group offers connection for parents living with loss of a child
When Samena Kennedy’s daughter died 20 years ago, it was a grief that not many other people could relate to. “Although there are some grievance groups in the area, it was not specialized to this type of grief,” Kennedy said.
For years, she’s wanted to put together some sort of grief group for parents and caregivers who have expeirenced the death of a child, and now it’s happening.
Monday evenings at the Locker in Fenelon Falls, Kennedy is welcoming anyone whose child has died to come out and share their stories. “I’ve heard this underlining message from most of those people who have lost a child that they just need some kind of support outside of their friends and family. As much as our friends and family are there to support us, this is a very individual (kind) of grief,” Kennedy said.
Caroline Fenelius-Carpenter is a death doula and has seen first-hand the grieving process parents go through. “The idea of (the group) being peer supported is really important for me. It’s about building a community.”
Joey Henderson’s son died four years ago. After she had time to process the unexpected loss, she used hospice services in Lindsay. While she said it was beneficial for her, there wasn’t much that was tailored to her unique situation of the death of a child.
Kennedy said that communities are great at supporting parents in the aftermath of a death, but eventually everyone else goes back to their everyday lives. “Life doesn’t move on for those that are grieving the loss of a child. Life changes immensely, every facet of your life changes when you lose a child.”
“There’s also the added losses. You lose the mom group, the groups you hung out with, the teachers, the future you had pictured for yourself and your child,” Fenelius-Carpenter said.
Kennedy and Henderson have also had friends and family who don’t know what to say to them. “It’s probably the most common thing you hear: ‘I couldn’t imagine.’ I couldn’t imagine before it happened to me,” Henderson said.
The group’s goal is to allow grieving parents to express how they’re feeling in a judgment free zone, no matter how far along in their grieving process they are. Kennedy said people will be free to cry, be angry, laugh, share stories, or do anything else that will let them express their feelings.
The Locker will be closed to the general public, but attendees are encouraged to bring a support person. That person can either attend the meeting with them downstairs, or they’re welcome to stay in the upstairs section of the restaurant.
Fenelius-Carpenter hopes having these types of conversations can led to grief being something people feel like they can openly talk about. “Death is a very personal thing, and grief is a very personal thing, and it’s something that people fear.”
For more information, Kennedy can be contacted on Facebook.
While I read this article I had to look up what a death doula was. This gave me some pause, while it reads like two of these women want to help other who have had children die and want to help other with the grieving process. While this seems like an admirable undertaking. I am sure some people would be helped . Adding a death doula to the group as I said gives me pause, many people I am sure have never heard of this, let’s call it a service. Through religious beliefs, or just feel it is, wrong to council people and their families to end their lives.through M.A.I.D. I think the primary reason is grief counciling, It would seem these people should be licensed to give people who may be in crisis, and or grief advice. While a death doula apparently is recognized . This is not the venue for counciling on this issue, just my thoughts.